Crazy, Stupid..Love...

This recent past has been incredibly thought provoking...I somehow tried to control my thinking; but a recent conversation with a friend has forced me to at least pen down my thoughts. A word of caution: A lot of my Indian friends will not like/agree with my views, but this is one way of looking at things.

Scene1: Recently my Facebook has a lot of updates of people being in a relationship..I'm so very happy for them, but a sudden declaration of their love amuses me, I happened to know(at least 80% of these love stories) that they have been dating for years, but their respective families had no knowledge about it, and now that they are getting engaged/married; they feel (morally) 'ok' to accept it and make it a public statement. The most common reason behind hiding their 'love' to their families is 'our parents are not that forward to understand us.'

Scene 2: I am chatting with a friend about a future trip. I invite her to tag along. She declined saying her parents won't agree. So I suggested, how about you give your parents all our contact numbers, our house phone numbers, and a detailed plan of our trip? Her response: 'No, that won't work either. you know, my parents are not that forward.'

This one statement makes me think again and again, if its really the case. Why our parents are not forward? Does this mean they are not compassionate enough to understand us? our feelings? or is it just  something 'we- this generation' decide for them...

I strongly believe, India is a worse country when it comes to social life..Our daily decisions involve too much of 'what people will say' factor..There is way too much interference of 'people' in our lives..which has bothered me since my childhood..so I agree, that could be one factor of this so called 'backwardness' of the parents..but thats 'just one factor'. 

I personally believe that this is a communication barrier. India is awesome when it comes to family life. We are raised in a healthy, happy family environment. Our parents know us deeply. We spend a quality time with them. But this picture changes once the college life starts and suddenly we start assuming that 'they won't understand us.' I have gone through numerous fights with my folks over small issues, but one thing always helped us get through was 'an attempt in having a communication.' I strongly feel that our parents are willing to come down to our level and listen to us. All we have to do is  present our case. Does that mean its gonna be all hunky-dory? Obviously not..there will be more fights, tears, misunderstandings, silent wars and much more...but this will also help build a strong relation between us and our parents..I can now say it, because I am witnessing it myself. (I'm not saying the job is done for me here.) Had there not been those ugly encounters between me and my parents, we wouldn't be able to have a mature, adult conversation today..Trust me, I have had the worst behavior with them at times, but they still loved me in that. We still fight, disagree over things and decisions, but we are learning to accept each other with those diferences and yet stand together. And that makes me want to share my life with them. I look forward to know my mother's opinion on things..and it feels great to know that there is someone with me no matter what...

And may be that the exact reason that I feel we should take that step to have a communication. Yes, its so difficult at times, but its always better than hiding or not laying it out. So instead of making them 'backward', why don't we all move 'forward' together? After all they love us and we reciprocate...its definitely a crazy, stupid love.