Thank You....

Wow....I was redirected to write again, by a poem from a new friend I made...she wrote a very neat poem yet powerful enough to get me back here...Thanks.

Well, to start with, I have no clue at this moment where life is leading me, yet I am hopeful...I have decided to reinstate my faith in Lord and try to just follow the instincts. Yeah, I am ready to face the stormy thoughts that totally whacked me out at times, but I know where my roots are...and I want to stick to that...

With some doors closing, I also see many more opening, but it takes me a while to respond to them in a right way. I totally want to go with that positive attitude and focussed mindset. I need time for that..and I know He will give me my time to perform work in His time. So much excitement hidden in me, I feel like I'll burst out..Its increasingly becoming difficult to hide it, but I would somehow manage that.

Oh yes, with few good news from my dearest friends, that makes me so happy and proud of them. Thanks Sonya, Vishu, Rhema, Ginnie n Rahul. I am blessed to have good friends and loving mother.. and a caring family (who still support me for my quirks and twists). And how can I forget my brother in Christ, Daniel, who has backed me almost every time and is still teaching me.

I guess, slowly I am understanding the word, yet I struggle and fight with myself to know who really I am. I am learning to make decisions and stand by them. Learning to be patient and easy with my words. But I am hopeful and grateful. just wanna thank you, my Lord...I know now that I need you...love you...I am slowly getting it.....Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4

A random one...

6:00 p.m. and he is back in his house...Kept shoes on rack, changed clothes and now ready to make dinner...He came in the living room, sat on his favorite chair...and again all started juggling with those same old questions.. They were like his enemies..They never let him alone for a moment..Attack him as they would find him free..Last four months were all the same....Like he was caught in some puzzle...and he didn't know the way to solve it...He almost forgot the warm feel of Myra...She must be a little tall now...with that same cute smile...and eyes filled with all expressions...

Oh boy, How I miss her...Then why did she go away?

He started thinking again...going back and forth his life...How happy he was with his small family...a little girl and a loving beautiful wife...He loved her too..He really loved her...She was so beautiful...She looked great in red...and she was the one he would come to in any situation...she was like his source for encouragement, happiness, pride, love. But then what made him got attracted to Judy? Was she more beautiful? More caring? No..But she had something in her that always caught his attention...He could never divert his mind when she used to speak..As if there are several wind chimes making sound...non stop...and the voice that made him forget the world around...

But, that one mistake opened his eyes...Is it wrong to get attracted to someone? Is there any rule that you cannot like a person? Is being with Judy makes his love for his wife less? All of them started interrogating him..So he decided to speak the truth..to the person he always belived in...Linda..

Indeed, it was a shock for her..and she decided to part ways..But is that the right decision? After all I have realized my mistake and I want to be there with you, for you...After all my family is my only world and I cannot, I do not want to be away from them...Why am I being punished for a single mistake..Finally I was honest and accepted it...Why? He used to converse with all of them daily...yet they never spoke to him...

Oh its almost 7:15...He said to himself...looking at that clock...It was rightly placed in front of the main door..."Honey, i am home...." used to be his regular sentence looking at the same clock four months back...and then He would have to carry Myra, even before putting his bag down..."Oh Daddy, I love you.." and He would be rewarded with a kiss..The gentle touch of her baby lips would make him feel like the King of the world...and then he would see Linda, glancing through the kitchen with her wonerful smile...That was his world...His possession..His everything...for which he was working his tail off...spending days in office to experience this 15 minutes of "His" life....

"Man, how can I let this go...I would die...They boh are my life..I need to be with them.." He now realized his mistake...now all of a sudden all those questions seem to answer him....but he isn't interested in them...He knows what he wants to do....He wants to live...live again...like a frog...coming out of hibernation...He eagerly runs out of the main door...to 'come in' again...